Devious Journal Entry

okay
i was doing better
and i think it just got worse
by a lot.
my friends just
don't like me anymore
and i'm kinda left with one person now who's never there on time, but i cant blame her for that i'm just really inconvenient
but
all my attempts to reach out for someone
to call for help
were lost in some sea
i feel as if everyone just thinks i'm a pathetic person and overreacts an takes things too far
people say stand up for yourself
but i'm even worse
i tried and failed
one of the most painful things you can ever go through is the realization that you aren't good enough anymore
that feeling that nobody likes you
nobody really wants to talk to you or even be your friend
you kinda just never found the right people
and i really want to ind someone
who just understands same and who i can say anything to without being afraid
and i was so close
and then i blew it, and they probably dont like me anymore.
i just,,
i want to know what i did to deserve all of this.
i must have done something really horrible, because at this point i want to unplug everything and start over
like, i want to go back
and fix everything i did
maybe i'd be happy if that was possible
i just want it all to stop
but just when i think it will
another wave of depression and problems washes me up
its just an endless cycle, and i want to change that